By RONNIE AND DEBBIE SMART
“Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” Many of us can be found muttering this old prayer during times like these. This widely accepted prayer was first written a little differently by the American Theologian Reinhold Niebuhr.
It is difficult to attain a state of serenity concerning the things we cannot change. Some synonyms of serenity include coming to a state of composure, quietness, calm, tranquility, patience, and peacefulness. While most individuals would aspire to these states of being, it can be amazingly difficult to process through the journey. Our troubled emotions in difficult times like these are not often even within the serenity ballpark!
We all go through many planned and unplanned changes within our lives. The journey to processing and acceptance of change as we move forward in healthy ways is called the adjustment process. The DSM 5 terms these issues with change as adjustment disorders. When these periods of time are extended and include more severe issues of depression, anxiety and other emotional/behavioral conditions; more exact diagnoses are applied. The impact of Coronavirus has been life changing! It has placed the sufferings of many of us at the very least within the adjustment process. Emotions that include fear, uncertainty, hopelessness, loneliness, sadness, being overwhelmed, loss, anxiousness, and grief pervade so many of our thoughts at this time.
This current national crisis has paralyzed and overwhelmed so many of us. Certain areas of the medical field are on high alert while others are not allowed to practice due to the important procedures they offer being termed as elective procedures in some geographical areas. Some folks within the business and vocational sectors are working tremendous hours without rest while others are out of work and quarantined to their homes
Jack London, an American novelist once said, “Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes a matter of playing a poor hand well.” We may look at our current cards and feel that we are totally without control of anything in our lives. We must realize that we are in control of how we will play the cards dealt to us.
It has been said that we are bombarded with approximately 50 thoughts per minute, 3,000 thoughts per hour and 72,000 thoughts per day. It is difficult to control our mindset with so many thoughts swirling through. However, we must remember that we have the ability to choose which thoughts we are going to accept and reject based on our mindsets. We must decide to process our thoughts in healthy ways. We must remember that is not stress itself that is the problem; but our response to the stress creates our problems. We know that bodily stress can be good in that it alerts us to danger and the need to act; however, it can also become toxic if not dealt with properly. A few ideas for processing through the current crisis in emotionally healthy ways are listed below.
- It is important to be honest with ourselves and others about our emotional states. We must work to bring our thoughts into our awareness, identify our true feelings and process through them. Life has recently changed across the world in ways that is more than scary for most of us. We all hurt on so many fronts and may have lost trust in all that is around us. Learning to reach out to others during these times is also difficult when we are “socially distancing.” There are ways to reach out through telephone, social media, and meeting with those around us while using proper distancing. Reaching out may include sitting in lawn chairs on each of our front porches, playing with a dog, or sharing a laugh and some humor. It is important that we are honest when people who care about us ask how we are doing. It is ok to say, “I am feeling down” or “business stinks.” Our emotional beings have been attacked and it is urgent that we open ourselves up to one another with some healthy trust. Being honest with someone we can trust helps us to process our feelings and begin healing. Opening up gives us all opportunity to help one another think rationally about the current situation; and speak back to irrational thoughts that paralyze us.
- For those of us who live in faith; it is important that we also reach out to God in these times. Repeated research shows that reaching out within our faith can be a crucial step to healing. Faith based meditation and directive imagery have positive results for many clients of faith. Some have described reaching a peace that is beyond understanding. A great admonition for all people to put into practice within their daily lives is found In Philippians 4:8: “ Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent of praiseworthy, think on these things.” Remember that our mindset is heavily influenced by the thoughts we allow to occupy space.
- Concentrating on healthy lifestyles is urgent during these times of long-term continuous stress. While the three major stress hormones- cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine help our bodies react to danger or stress; these hormones can become excessive and negatively affect our bodies during prolonged stress. Four neurotransmitters- dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins are often called our happy chemicals because they help promote positivity in us. It is important, especially in a pandemic, to eat healthy, exercise regularly, find ways to participate in leisure activities, sleep an adequate number of hours each night, and find reasons and friends to laugh with. Other coping mechanisms that include meditation, mindfulness, yoga, and tapping can be found on the internet through you tube videos. It is also noted that many individuals affirm that various vitamin supplements and essential oils have made immense positive difference in their overall health. Please remember that it is of urgent importance that individuals check with their physician before deciding and proceeding in these areas. Reaching out and helping others is also an important self-help skill and can be done in many creative ways. The internet has several sites listed and include some of the following activities: giving blood, giving money to non-profits, volunteering, calling a neighbor, giving extra supplies purchased previously, and helping organizations with meals for those in need. These healthy lifestyle activities should be helpful to us in reducing excess stress hormones and increase our happy chemicals!
Please remember that there are times when it is important and best to talk to a professional counselor or visit your doctor during times of duress. Please keep this important step in mind as you walk through this journey.
Ronnie and Debbie Smart founded ‘The Bridge Counseling and Coaching.’ Ronnie has a B.S. in Ministry and an M.ED in Supervision of Education. Debbie is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor. Contact them at ronnie@healatthebridge.com or debbie@healatthebridge.com or visit https://www.healatthebridge.com/index.html
